was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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