3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
