I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
