so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
