i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
