is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
