Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
