He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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