i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
