No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
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