stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Boobs speak an international language.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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