OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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