Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
