Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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