You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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