i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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