nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
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Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
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I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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