Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
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Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
They left me at home... I'm a liability
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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