I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
