I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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