You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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