my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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