Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
