How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize