I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
