Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
