Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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