kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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