Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
