Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
