I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
