i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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