So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
that's an acceptable place to lick
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
