i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize