Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
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Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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