She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize