but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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