But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
