You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
