we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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