Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's blow job season.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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