I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
