Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
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just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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