I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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