wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
