Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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