You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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