Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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