Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.