I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.