Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.