five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
