When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize