I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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