can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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