I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
