He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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