Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
