She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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