please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize