I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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