And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
