we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
